I went to a Church Planting Boot Camp in 2017. One of the statements that made went something like this, “The beauty of a church plant is that it takes on the personality of the pastor. The negative of a church plant is that it takes on the personality of the pastor.” Funny but true. If you’ve ever been apart of any organization, ministry, company or business, the culture reflects the visionary, boss, or leadership in charge. A family is a small organization and you are it’s leader and visionary. Therefore it makes sense that our family culture is directly reflected by us (chill down the spine, peed a little). Yeah, that’s both scary and encouraging at the same time. But don’t sweat. Adjust your expectations and know that you won’t get it perfect but you can lay the right foundation that can be built off of for your child’s life.
Growth is the enemy of stagnancy.
Here’s the central theme to this post: You reproduce who you are, not what you do. Words are cheap in of themselves, but when reinforced with action, well now we have something we can work with. The families that create strong family cultures are lead by fathers who are committed to personal growth. Personal growth communicates 3 things:
- Models humility. Growth means you know that you haven’t arrived at your destination so you keep moving forward leaving old things behind.
- Takes yourself and others to new heights. Growing means going. It brings you and your family into new insights, values, habits and ideas.
- Instills a desire to learn. When you are committed to growing personally and taking your family with you then they begin to catch this fire and learn themselves. It creates an atmosphere where curiosity, hunger, and progress are valued.
Let’s talk about the alternative to not growing. Stagnancy. Growing up I would drive out to my friends house and on the way I would pass this pond. It had a weeping willow hanging over it and was located in a small valley surrounded by oaks and maples. Everything was great about this pond except the fact that it was covered by a thick layer of scum. It was so thick I was tempted to try to walk on it. Pretty sure that if anyone would have tried to swim in it they would have contracted West Nile and Yellow Fever simultaneously. Get this: It had potential but wasn’t able to support life. Every father and husband has potential. Not every father will take potential and make it actual.
Brothers, fathers, men of God, we MUST be committed to growth. If we choose prideful thinking, emotional disconnection, avoidance of blind spots or resistance to change then we are not just hindering ourselves but our families also. Strong family cultures are built upon men who are hungry to grow and go. Use that God-instilled, Holy Spirit empowered, Jesus bought courage to face failure, sin, blind-spots, change and the future. Know that growth comes from knowing you are enough in the eyes of your Father.
Let’s commit to living out the values we want our kids to embody. Let’s show the way with actions not just words. Let’s move forward in grace, step by step, inch by inch towards Jesus with our wives and children at our side. Let’s change the perception of men in our culture. Let’s change the statistics on fathers not going to church. Let’s be the ones to initiate prayer with our kids. Let’s charge into Red Sea opportunities. Let’s model the jealous love of God. Let’s throw off the schemes of Satan that try to confuse, distort and emasculate men. Let’s let the Lion of Judah out of the cage of our hearts.
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