If it’s one thing that I learned over the course of 8 years in youth ministry it is that there are too many kids out there clueless about marriage and family. Time after time I would hear or see examples of young men who would see their dads, step-dads, or mom’s boyfriend yell, undermine or in more extreme cases abuse the women in their lives. Hulu, Netflix or whatever the streaming service. They are rampant with shows depicting marriages full of disrespect, cynicism or sarcasm. Millennials who are starting families are content with not being married. Their thinking is that “if it ends in divorce then why get married in the first place?”
That means it’s left up to us men, God’s men, to give our children a better, higher and more pure vision of marriage. There are few things that go further with our kids than demonstrating day in and day out how to treat our women. I remember walking into the kitchen after basketball practice and my parents upon seeing each other after work would give each other a long, drawn-out, extended, uncomfortable kiss (from the perspective of a 15 year-old boy). Yes mom, if you’re reading this believe it or not I am now thanking you for those many uncomfortable moments, BECAUSE this is what it showed me: My parents love each other and this is what a husband and a wife do when they love each other…make their kids feel awkward.
First let’s talk about what it looks like to honor your wife…
- Make it a point when together as a family to ask her about her day (it helps if you are really interested).
- Stand up for her when the kids disrespect, or disobey her.
- Stay unified on decisions regarding the kids EVEN if you disagree. Have that conversation later IN PRIVATE.
- During the family movie night, sit by her and snuggle her. When at the zoo walking hold her hand.
- Pray with and for her.
- When you are arguing and realize that you are wrong (which is about 95% of the time)…in front of the kids…A-P-O-L-O-G-I-Z-E. How will our kids know how to own their stuff if we don’t show them?
- When she is around or not around, DO NOT say anything that would belittle, undermine or dishonor her to the kids.
They will look forward to marriage one day because they see the life that emanates from yours!
Bottom line is: We are one with our women. This is the beauty and mystery of marriage. So every time we act out in the flesh towards our wives we are undoubtedly working against ourselves and our kids. SO…Here are 3 ways honoring your wife in front of the family will change their view of marriage:
- They will gain respect for her because they see YOU respect her.
- They will see what the grace of the Gospel looks like in the context of marriage.
- They will look forward to marriage one day because they see the life that emanates from yours!
We have an awesome opportunity to raise a generation of young men and women who will wait for marriage, look forward to marriage and live out marriage to the glory of God! It starts with you and it starts with me! Onward and upward.