**I know this is a long post. Take it in chunks if you have to but it will be worth your time**
No this title was not just an attention grabber. Although it does peak your interest, desperate times call for desperate…titles. Simply put: Satan is out to destroy your marriage and your family. Let’s start this conversation with a couple of assumptions…
Assumption #1: Our struggle isn’t against flesh and blood.
Assumption #2: Satan hates all things pure, godly, and holy (God’s vision for marriage is all 3).
Assumption #3: Satan prefers the back door over the front door.
These assumptions put together mean that you’ve got an Enemy who is bent on undermining, distorting, twisting, and ultimately destroying your marriage without you ever having the thought that he was involved. Let me expose some deceptive strategies that I’ve seen in Lydia and I’s marriage…
The “Vicious Cycle”
When one spouse’s reaction to something said or done causes more of the same kind of destructive behavior in the other. It’s the downward spiral where things escalate. Example: Lydia had a fear that I’d rather spend time with someone else other than her. I had a fear that she wouldn’t let me do things with other people. The result- I wouldn’t tell her about my plans until last minute (not asking her permission… don’t recommend BTW) which then reinforced the lie that I didn’t want to spend time with her. This made her want to hold on more which made me want to distance myself more. The downward spiral. Now you may be thinking “That sounds like your problem, not Satan’s.” Agreed, I was in the wrong Hundo-P, but Satan’s tactic is TO REINFORCE LIES AND KEEP YOU BOTH FROM GETTING TO THE CENTER OF THE VICIOUS CYCLE. Once identified it loses its power.
Satan prefers the back door over the front door.
The Prayer Block.
When we got married we saw the value of praying together consistently. And we did… 2 ½ years later. It seemed like we could never get a consistent rythme. Movies in the evening sounded more appealing. Insecurities about initiating prayer would arise. Distractions would pull us away. And on and on. One night we were laying in bed in silence and I said out loud “Why is it that I feel insecure about offering to pray together?” To which she replied “Me too!” Boom. Enemy exposed. Satan doesn’t want husbands and wives to pray! You’re a power-house for the kingdom of God and prayer is the secret sauce. Let me tell you this: 99% of spouses who pray together never get a divorce! Maybe your only TAKEAWAY is to GETAWAY and pray.
The Hustle.
Ahhhh…the American Dream. A life of comfort, excess, indepence, and freedom…under the surface fueled by ambition, greed, selfishness, comparison, discontent and restlessness. I don’t think anyone reading this post would say that this is their pursuit. I think however that there is a “sanitized” and “Christianized” version of this that we can knowingly or unknowingly be following. It’s the “not-enough” syndrome and all though these words never leave our mouth it can be clearly heard. The other day the Lord rebuked me for my worship of “financial freedom.” Is money bad? Nope. Is financial freedom bad? Maybe. Maybe not. Is it causing you to put less security in God and more security in wealth (i.e, me)? Satan wants you to jump on the hamster wheel of achievement, hustle, ambition to take you to one place…burn-out. And here’s the kicker…often times the burn-out doesn’t happen to us first, but those closest to us. You can only pull someone so far before they can’t be drug any further.
IF YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR THEN DON’T STOP READING!
We were made to fight. This is NOT a losing battle. God has a vision for YOUR marriage and it doesn’t involve the Devil. Know the tactics so you can fight and see the victory.
Lord Jesus, make the men reading this and myself men of discernment. May we see the Enemy and learn to fight the right battles. May we be men who choose the hard path and not the short cut. May our leadership be that of the towel not the throne. Restore faith to those of us who have given up on believing we can have your vision for our marriage. Amen.